marissa tirona

Written By paige green

pres·ence ~ to project a sense of ease, poise, or self-assurance

Last fall my daughter Siena started high school and joined the varsity volleyball team (humble brag). She was tapped as the team's “libero” understudy, a position I knew nada about in a sport I equally was ill-equipped to parentally shout out from the benches on. Libero (naturally an italian word) is a defensive specialist and Siena was fortunate to learn the ropes by THE libero, Beatrice, a senior who exuded grace, strength, steadiness and a warm smile that glued the whole team together. 

I sat at games trying to understand the sport, rotations, names…while many parents lovingly cheered the girls on. But there was this one mom who brought that quiet grit I admired, the type of human I often attach my wagon to. She had a certain presence - laser focused on the girls as she would bellow SIDE OUT! (whatever in the hell that means I’d think…) I instantly liked her because this woman clearly instilled the same no BS mentality I like, but with class.

That woman is MARISSA TIRONA, and it turns out she was in fact, THE LIBERO’s mom. After the season, Siena kept a friendship and admiration for Beatrice. Throughout the year looking up to her while Beatrice looked out for Siena. 

Cut to last week and the school’s musical performance. There was Beatrice, president of Glee Club, singing like an absolute angel. I teared up watching her,  taking a minute on the moment of this incredible young woman’s poise and gorgeous voice. So obviously,  I needed to understand a bit more about where that ease and self-assurance came from.

Marissa reads tough but kind, warm yet don’t-mess-with-her. Turns out she has a long standing career in change-making systems for mega-impact across social justice, civil rights law, domestic and workplace violence (as in things like advancing the Ford Foundation’s billion dollar BUILD program). Today that presence I speak of goes towards being president of an org that mobilizes institutional resources (money) for migrants, immigrants and refugees rights. She is a badass philanthropic, real-life wonder woman. 

The best part though, is underneath that Tea Leoni, Madame President exterior, she’s got Tina Turner chops. Yep, Marissa is a bonafide singing talent. In fact she met her husband singing in the Oakland Jazz Choir. Ah yes, there’s that genetic gifting we see carried on…(lucky Beatrice)

I sorta figured Marissa would be chalk full of amazing–singer, philanthropist, lawyer, volleyball player. What I didn’t know was she was one of the first we almost lost to COVID. On March 17,2020 she went into the ICU, was put on a ventilator and awoke on May 17.  She shares this in our conversation with a steadiness and grace that stops me in my tracks. And while her vocal chords were forever damaged, watching her see Beatrice this week, you can tell music gifts carry through in a different way these days.

Raised in Southern california, us New Yorkers got Marissa and family in 2017. Her parents were born and raised in the Philippines and met through volleyball (there is a theme here) then came stateside. Her maternal grandmother was the first female lawyer in Mindanao, an island in the Philippines. I asked her how her upbringing shaped her career–she said there was always a sense of family, community and accountability. That her parents instilled a sense of independence, confidence and importance in giving back.

But I also asked her if she gets disheartened by what she is exposed to through her work. She said she is often anchored by knowing there is in fact enough for everyone (to go around) and she thinks about a quote from James Baldwin, “I have never been in despair about the world…I’ve been enraged by it, but I don’t think I’m in despair…You can’t tell the children there is no hope.” Even when she quotes others, she has presence.

ANYWAY, perhaps most important is that her baby girl, BeBe, is turning a page today graduating High School…so despite that undoubted presence Marissa has, her feels in life moments are just like us regular humans. She feels today’s poignance, yes, but mostly she feels pride.  

And so, I finally looked up what SIDE OUT means…”to terminate a team’s right to serve.” So spot on that the person who shows such presence of humankind, is the tough parent leader yelling SHUT IT DOWN from the bleachers…the perfect type of presence indeed….xop

the picks

give

  • Damayan ($5) And here we go with the FRIDAY 5s… Marissa speaks of this grassroots org quite fondly. Damayan serves and empowers low-wage Filipino migrant workers living and working in NYC NJ- especially undocumented domestic workers and labor trafficking survivors. 

watch

  • Message In A Bottle (Dance Theater Show/PBS/1hr.25 mins) Ok this is very cool. A moving dance theater show (trailer here) set to Sting’s most iconic music that tells the story of a migrant family. Sadly, the live show just wrapped in NYC but PBS has it friends.

read 

  • Elite Capture by Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò (Book/$12) This one punches above my brainshare on a friday before a three day weekend so I will let the subtitle capture Marissa’s light reading repertoire—How the powerful took over identity politics….and everything else. 

listen

try

  • Nai (NYC Restaurant)An East Village spot with elevated Spanish tapas and Flamenco on Saturdays? Say no more. Marissa and her husband went recently and absolutely loved it.

paige green
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